14 August, 2012

Time Traveling

I think we can time travel, especially now with social media that, although segments your life with a convenient timeline functionality, let's you see past merged into the present which is actually the future.  I think this is why I struggle at times to even remember the time in which I currently reside.  Is this 1992 or 2002 or 2012?  Sometimes it is hard to distinguish.  And although I may be living in 2012, I always feel someone still in 2000 taps me on the shoulder and says, "hey what's up?" and now I have to pull some time machine traveling magic to try and accommodate what once was.  However, then, out of seemingly no where, the person you are going to spend from 2014 to 2016 shows up, but still you are dealing with 2000 and then your friends of 2012 are saying what is going on?  So you try to explain that you are dealing with the past to not screw up with the future but everyone is screaming at you to live in the now which is difficult because you are nostalgic about the past and still hopeful about the future.  So you try to not become entranced by what once was even though you want to revisit like a vacation to Disneyland, only with people you miss and who have shaped who you have become.  At the same time you stalk them from the windows of the present thinking, "what the hell happened," and at a point of feeling that is not even a word in English which is not quite jealousy or envy but where you just wanna pop in the party and say "hey what's up what's up?" to everyone who is still hanging out in 2004 without you.  Then all of a sudden you are in 2018 getting married and inviting the people from 2012 and talking about those from 2006 but not inviting anyone because you aren't even engaged yet but in your mind you've had three children already.  So where does this live me?  In a state of constant time flux and with my mind no where to be found hanging out with people who existed once in a time that never happened.