I Caught ...

I caught myself a fish,
And I did not need no help,
But then after I threw it back,
I only caught some kelp.

I caught myself a butterfly,
With the help of my trustee net.
I caught myself the football,
To win the game I will never forget.

I caught a ball in soccer,
But the ref blew the whistle,
And then I caught my puppy,
While she ran into the thistle.

I caught the train before it left,
I caught a break at last,
I caught someone looking at me,
And winked as we passed.

I caught every thing I wanted to,
And things were too good to be true,
That was, at least, until my brother came home,
And then I caught the flu!

I bought an extra pillow

I had two pillows,
As you know,
And two was quite enough.

But once I started dreaming,
I dreamt,
That I was made of fluff.

So of course I needed
just one more,
To be a bigger sheep.

But just as I bought it,
I woke up,
And realized I was just asleep

You will see it when you believe it

Dear Mr. Armstrong,

Oh, what a world we live in! To need to respond to you in this very manner, seems very archaic. Who would have believed that even the word ¨letter¨ would not follow the path of extinction like the dinosaurs? For certain I believed the word would have no meaning since ¨formal complaint¨ surfaced. Perhaps I am simply floating in a dream world.

As you can probably tell, I am writing in response to your concern about the health care crisis that is occurring in the United States of America. Primarily, I would like to assure you that everything is going to settle itself and the world will be able to rest once more. But I will more specifically go into the points that you make in your formal complaint.

You state that, ¨our world is being violently destroyed into a gaga travesty of what once was. People simply just do not care like they used to.¨ To this claim, I respond with a quick anecdote for you, to assure you that simply is not the case.

I was playing video games with my friend just last weekend, when we began to quarrel about who won. It was obvious that I was victor, as according to the television screen before us had the words, ¨YOU WIN¨ in capitalized letters. Obviously there was no question of defeat. Yet in some twisted version of the words, he claimed that the only thing I had won was ¨a trip to the doctor´s office.¨ He then began to swing his fist towards my face. With a quick dodge to the left, I almost escaped his rocketing fist. However, I lain on the tile floor clutching in my hand my bleeding eye.

So quickly I rush myself to the emergency room to see what could possibly done to fix my drooping eye, for which I obviously kept covered with my hand as to not scare the locals with a black and blue battle wound. As you can tell, I was obviously careful in what I exposed to public, as I was concerned that I might frighten them with my now grotesque appearance. The nurse looked at me, and asked me to remove my hand from my eye, which I objected to for I did not wish to scare her. She claimed my condition would only worsen if she was unable to diagnose what problem I had. I told her several times that my eye was beaten in and that is all she needed to know. She shook her head and told me to sit down over there, as she pointed to a chair next to this teenage boy, and said ¨wait there until I call your name.¨

I strolled over to the teenager, who glared at me and then looked back down at his media player. I sat down and whispered, ¨What are you here for?¨

¨Mind your own business, Horus¨ he muttered, which I thought was odd at the time since my name is not Horus. However, I realized he was referencing the Egyptian god Horus because of my eye.

¨I am sorry, sir,¨ I kindly replied. ¨But I was simply wondering of your ailment, so perhaps I could ease your worries about what is going to happen to you in the hospital behind those closed doors.¨

¨I already know what is going to happen to me. I am going to be killed and fed to the cows on Old McDonald´s Farm so that everyone else can enjoy a good burger made with me.¨ The teen seemed perturbed at my efforts to help.

¨Now sir, you do know that nothing like that happens.¨ I looked at him, as he stared back at me.

¨Why are you holding your eye?¨ he questioned.

¨Well you see, I was playing video games...¨ and I continued to tell him the entire story.

The teen turned to me, paused his music and said, ¨Video games? You are like 233 years old. Shouldn´t you be, doing, work?¨

¨Sir, I am not nearly that old I assure you, but I am retired. Playing games is what keeps me seeming young.¨ I returned his banter, and he shrugged it off and went back to his music. I looked down at his screen, seeing the lists of artists that he mindlessly hummed along with. I smiled, and turned my eye to the other direction, staring at the nurse behind the desk.

She nodded and asked me to come through the doors and I accepted. She patted me on the back and the doctor made me read the letters from the eye chart. He was a nice doctor, about forty five years old but I could tell his license was about to expire, so I questioned him on it, seeing as I was trying to help him not lose it completely. He smiled and turned to his nurse and nodded, and she subsequently left us alone. We had a quick discussion, and he kindly allowed my surgery to be completely free.

So you see, people do care about other people and the world is not becoming a ¨travesty¨ of what once was. Just watch any television news station and you will see that although there is always news, you should just be happy that there is news. Because a world without it would mean the utter destruction of our society as we know it.

So relax, Mr. Armstrong and enjoy the rest of your day. The health care crisis will settle itself when it needs to. And you will see it when you believe it. Just realize that the world is not out to get you, and there are people that will help you out, and you will not even need to ask.

Just dance, Mr. Armstrong, it will be okay.

Signed,
Invictus Maneo

Blank

I wanted to write about you.
My mind went blank
But I was determined to say something,
and I did...
And I know it does not say much
but I tried

You are amazing.
You make me smile,
when I simply cannot fathom happiness,
and in the time of crisis,
worry and fear,
as the odds stacked against you,
you made me laugh.
I can never express to you
what it means to be elated with the world,
that I am so fearful of stepping into.
You took this challenge
and I cannot express my gratitude.
You are amazing.
Never forget this

My mind drew a blank yet again
which it frequently does
and I wish I could express every feeling of euphoria I have
that is because of you...
But I simply have no words

I wasn't paying attention

Vince: I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention
Rebeka: I said I never thought that you would think of me like that.
Vince: Like what?
Rebeka: Like what you said you thought I was.
Vince: What did I say you were like?
Rebeka: ... I'm not sure I wasn't paying attention, but I knew it was bad.
Vince: But I never said anything bad
Rebeka: Yeah, you said like, I was a smoking alcoholic that just sluts around and shows her body to the world
Vince: I would never say that
Rebeka: Well you said something along those lines.
Vince: But you do not even smoke. Or drink.
Rebeka: Which is why I was confused when you said that about me.
Vince: I'm sorry what? I wasn't paying attention.
Rebeka: I was confused.
Vince: Why?
Rebeka: Because you called me a smoking alcoholic.
Vince: No I never did.
Rebeka: Do not lie to me like that. I heard you with my own ears.
Vince: But I really never said it. I said you were smoking hot and after all these calls it seems like you are a slut, but I know you aren't because you are intelligent and independent and do not need to resort to things like that.
Rebeka: I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention, did you call me a smoking slut?
Vince: What? No.
Rebeka: Yes you did, I just heard you.
Vince: But I did not say that!
Rebeka: What did you say?
Vince: I forgot. But it wasn't that.
Rebeka: What did you forget how bitchy you just were to me? Short term memory?
Vince: No, no. That is not it at all. I just forgot what I said exactly.
Rebeka: Just try to repeat the basic idea of what you just said to me again, I'm sure you could be able to do that and this way I would feel better about myself knowing that you at least were not being so incredibly heartless towards me and my feelings.
Vince: I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. You want me to do what to you?
Rebeka: I don't want you to do anything to me! I said you should repeat what you said as best as you can so that I could feel better about myself.
Vince: You want to feel yourself?
Rebeka: I want to feel good.
Vince: I can try to make you feel good but I don't know how this is going to make you feel better.
Rebeka: I don't want you to make me feel good!
Vince: I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention, why don't you want me to make you feel good? You want to remain upset at me?
Rebeka: No that is not the case at all.
Vince: What case?
Rebeka: The situation at hand.
Vince: Oh that's right, I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention.
Rebeka: Can you at least apologize?
Vince: For what?
Rebeka: For what you said.
Vince: What did I say?
Rebeka: That I am not good enough for you.
Vince: I'm sorry I said that. I don't know why I would even say that because I think you are beautiful, absolutely stunning really. And there is nothing in the world I would not do to make you smile at least for a moment. You deserve to smile.
Rebeka: I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention, what did you say?

I can't help...

I can't help to think that everywhere I go, someone probably jizzed there. Now I am not trying to be crude or anything like that, but when I just think about everywhere in the world and how many people there are, I think about how in every public domain there must be stains upon stains of sexual defiance, maybe not defiance but it sounds like a stronger word than anything else I could think of. Then I dare not even mention the private houses and the amount those are covered in.

Now, let me just say that even if there is absolutely no evidence of sex occurring in a particular area, due to the two people being incredibly neat and tidy about their activity, that it still does not pardon the idea that there was just two people naked there. Or masturbating. Desks, tables, vending machines, buildings, sidewalks, trees, park benches, tennis courts, etc. They all have to have been used for this in one way or another.

Sitting in college housing only perpetuates the idea that there is cum everywhere. I mean, the thousands of young adults that have ran rampant through here the past few decades surely have made their mark permanently on the mattress of time. And again, I am not trying to be weird, gross, or awkward, just stating a thought process that I feel should not be censored by human's minds. I mean, sex is just another part of human nature. To call this subject matter taboo seems a little counterintuitive.

Just homes, in general, are filled with evidence of sexual activities. And when someone buys someone else's home, I can only imagine if they had this thought process what they would think. I mean, they are buying someone else's messes.

It seems to me that this is the great equalizer here on earth as well. I could go to an airport bathroom where both the janitor, pilot and CEO of the company could all have done their business. And do not try the defense that people do not "perform" such "actions" in public places, because, we know that would be an immense lie. But it just seems funny. I want to put a black light up to the world and just view the stains we have left upon this planet.

Now I am not, by any means or stretch of the imagination, calling us creatures of diminishing grace or ones that should be ashamed of ourselves. In fact, I am praising us for how effective we are at doing so, and how creative we are to utilize all of the objects we have in our possession to be happy. It just makes me wonder if we are doing better than the history that made its mark before us.