Impress

I know I do not have to impress you, and yet, for some reason, I have the strongest urge to prove myself.  I have enough confidence in myself that I do not need the affirmation, however, I am completely stuck on the idea that your compliments and words are what I need and that only you can sustain my happiness instead of having it slowly dwindle to depression.  I do not know why I think this.  I really have no idea.  But I am continually in this flux where you mean absolutely everything and absolutely nothing.  I am choking on the words "save" and "kill," but I am trying to say something while waiting for you to say anything.