Impression

I have realized I have put a lot of time and effort into trying to look good, like most people do, when going out and junk. Granted, yes, I want to look presentable in general, but it is like I take extra time to just make sure that everything is perfected, and for what? Inevitably someone has spent more time and effort into "dolling up" themselves, and even better, there will be people who without needing to glamorize will still look better than me naturally. I am okay with that though. I just want to know why I bother trying to make this great first impression which is also, completely the opposite of who I am to begin with. I am that person that when he gets home, I immediately take off my tie, shoes, whatever, and lounges in shorts or sweatpants (depending on the weather) and tee shirt for the rest of my day. If someone is looking to be even just my friend, they should probably get used to the fact that I give very little about style and look more for comfort anyway. And for the "one" who I will hopefully spend the rest of my life with, well, 95% of my life is going to be looking like a mess who just got out of bed. I am seriously just confused as to why I am (as I am sure others are) obsessed with trying to seem better than I already am (mainly because it is impossible to be more amazing than I already am [confidence, not arrogance]). I do not know why I try to seem cooler than I am and put like, "Oh I do A, B and C," just because I think that's what others want to hear. People have surprising interests and so do I, so the fact that I make up conlangs or play Pokemon is just something else about me beyond the fact that I can beat you in tennis and write a lot. I do not really understand why I always feel like I need to back down or dress up for people ... that is not who I am nor will I probably ever be. I am who I am and look like who I look like, and I much rather not try hard to conceal that anymore.

Did any of this make sense?! I refuse to reread what I just wrote so I am just going to post it instead.